Mike Valenti's NFL Draft Drinking Game

The cliches will flow like the cheese at a fondue dinner party. 

The Valenti Show
April 24, 2019 - 2:57 pm
Categories: 

(97.1 The Ticket) Fans of Mike Valenti's podcast "Always Aggravated" got a few special treats this week. Listeners learn David "Hatchet" Hull is such a diva that he wears sunglasses inside the office, they hear Mike "Sully" Sullivan's dead-on impression of Mel Kiper and they get the keys to a very special game.

A drinking game, to be specific.

The rules are loose, but the game has to happen during the NFL draft. That's a time when cliches will flow like the cheese at a fondue dinner party. 

"The NFL draft lends itself to being a drinking game," Mike Valenti said in his podcast. "I view the NFL draft as this cornucopia of cliches."

His game includes one drink phrases, two drink phrases, and 'finish what's in your glass' phrases. They are:

One sip phrases - These are the words 'potential'; 'up side,' 'need,' 'versatility,' 'fit,' 'scheme,' and the visual of an awkward Roger Goodell brother hug. Hear it? Take a swill.

Two sip phrases -  Get ready for two swallows for the words 'comparison,' 'lateral quickness,' 'hip turn,' football IQ,' 'pro day,' and 'high motor.'

Finish what's in your glass phrases - Down it all in one gulp when Josina Anderson humble brags about who she just talked to, and/or talks in the third person; Do the same if Kiper yells 'Todd, Todd, Todd,' McShay sarcastically smirks while wanting to kill Kiper, or DJ Metcalf's body fat is mentioned. If the cameras switch to old guys sitting in a war room with their ties loosened, finish that drink. Also if a player brings a child or a photo of a dead person in a frame on stage or if you see a player with his collar buttoned up and wearing a gold chain outside of their dress shirt. The lonely shot of the last guy in the green room is also a finish-your-glass moment. When Tom Rinaldi ratchets it up with a big emotional piece, it's another chance to finish your drink. 

*Note that the non-drinkers in the crowd should substitute food. But be careful not to eat yourself into a coma. Eat and drink responsibly.